women

What’s With the Head Coverings?

May 3, 2023 by Paul Ellis

When I wrote my book about women in the church, my aim was to examine every verse that has been hijacked to oppress and silence women.

I wanted to show that contrary to what many of us have heard, woman are in no way inferior to men. In the new covenant of grace, women can preach, teach, and lead, and do anything God calls them to do.

But there was one verse I could not explain:

Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head…. (1 Corinthians 11:10a)

In context, Paul is talking about head coverings (scarves?). He says women who pray or prophesy in church with uncovered heads are showing disgrace to their heads (their husbands?). Their behavior is so shameful, says Paul, they might as well go the whole way and shave their heads (1 Cor. 11:5).

Whew.

When I wrote my book, I didn’t know what Paul was talking about. But plenty of people have offered their opinions. “Women wear head scarves to show they’re in submission to male authority,” says one scholar. “It is the will of God that the woman know her place,” says another.

Which doesn’t sound like anything Paul would say. Why would the apostle who wrote “there is neither male nor female in Christ” (Gal. 3:28) turn around and say women are subservient to men?

Something doesn’t add up.

There’s quite a lot going on with the head coverings in 1 Corinthians 11 so I will skip the details here and focus on verse ten. If you want to go deeper, check out the relevant entries in the Grace Commentary.

Sex in the city

As always, context matters. First-century Corinth was a hotbed of sexually immorality. The city had several pagan temples including the infamous Temple of Aphrodite Porne (“Aphrodite of the Prostitutes”). The city had a promiscuous culture, so we can perhaps understand why sexual immorality had infiltrated the church (1 Cor. 5:1).

The world has not changed much. Every day we are bombarded with offerings to the goddess of erotica. Like the Corinthians, we all face sexual temptation. And like them, we need to learn how to deal with it.

Imagine you were the apostle Paul teaching the Corinthians how to deal with sexual temptation. What would you say? If you were a law-lover, you might write, “You should not even think about sinning lest you incur the wrath of God.”

Or you might say, “It is a sin to talk to or even look at a woman,” which is what some of the religious Jews believed. If they saw a woman in the street, they’d shut their eyes. For this reason they became known as “bruised and bleeding Pharisees” on account of all the posts and doors they walked into.

But Paul does not say anything like this. He doesn’t hit the Corinthians with laws or restrictions. Instead, he writes:

Because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:2)

The key word in this verse is have. Husbands and wives are supposed to have each other. Do you understand? Look at how the verse appears in the Passion Translation:

Because of the danger of immorality, each husband should have sexual intimacy with his wife and each wife should have sexual intimacy with her husband. (1 Cor. 7:2, TPT)

Because there was so much illicit sex going on, the Corinthians asked Paul if they should practice celibacy (see 1 Cor. 7:1). He had a better idea. “Sex is good, provided you do it God’s way.”

A Christian marriage is a treasure worth protecting. When two people who are each living from their union with the Lord come together in marriage, the result is heaven on earth. Nothing in the diseased temples of Corinth or the dark corners of the internet can compare with that.

Which brings us to the head coverings.

The significance of head coverings

The custom in Corinth was for married women to cover their heads. So a married woman who removed her head covering in a public place was like a man or woman who removes their wedding ring before going into a bar. It’s not a good look. It sends a solicitous message.

It’s like throwing a hand grenade into your marriage.

Paul called them out. “If you are going to remove your head covering, you might as well shave your head” (1 Cor. 11:6). In other words, if you’re going to act like a prostitute, you might as well look like a prostitute.

When Paul says “the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head,” he is not saying women are subservient to men. He’s saying, “Honor your marriage.” In context, he’s reminding them what he said earlier to husbands and wives:

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (1 Corinthians 7:4)

The body of a married women is under the authority of her husband, just as his body is under her authority. In other words, she belongs to him and he belongs to her. As the Shulammite said, “My beloved is mine and I am his” (Song of Solomon 2:16).

Put it altogether and Paul is saying something like this:

If you are married, don’t act like you are single. You are part of a one-flesh team. To disrespect the symbols of your union, whether they are scarves, rings, or something else, is to disrespect your marriage partner, mislead others, and diminish one of God’s great gifts.

Marriage should be honored by all and especially by those who are married.

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The 3rd installment of The Grace Bible comes out at the end of May. It is available for pre-order on Kindle. Patrons can get the book here.

Patriarchy is not God’s Plan for Your Marriage

November 16, 2022 by Paul Ellis

God intended for marriage to be between one man and one woman, but the fall of man opened the door to two evils; polygyny and patriarchy.

Polygyny replaces partnership

Adam’s offspring took multiple wives, a practice known as polygyny. (Polygyny is a kind of polygamy. The other kind—having multiple husbands—is known as polyandry.)

Polygyny was common among the ancients. A few generations after Adam, Lamech became the first recorded polygynist in history when he took two wives (Gen. 4:19). Jacob and Esau had two wives at the same time (Gen. 26:34, 28:8–9, 29:21–30, 32:22, 36:6), as did Samuel’s father Elkanah (1 Sam. 1:2).

King David was a polygynist (2 Sam. 3:2–5), while his son Solomon was the most infamous polygynist of all (1 Kgs. 11:3). Herod the Great, who tried to murder baby Jesus, had nine wives.

Interestingly, the Law of Moses legitimized polygyny but not polyandry. A man could have several wives, but a woman could not have several husbands (see Deu. 21:15). Josephus, the Jewish historian, noted it was a custom of the Jews to have many wives.

What does polygyny have to do with us?

The old custom of polygyny casts a shadow over the modern church whenever we discuss divorce. By failing to grasp the historical context of polygyny, we misread the words of Jesus when he spoke about divorce. And we misread what Paul said about elders having only one wife.

As a result, divorced people, and especially divorced women, are wrongly condemned as sinners. They are told they can’t lead and can’t teach and they definitely cannot remarry.

None of this is remotely Biblical.

Polygyny is obviously contrary to God’s plan for partnership because it exalts a husband above his wives. He is no longer an equal partner in a matched pair but a little king ruling his harem. He has become a patriarch.

And so does patriarchy

We honor the patriarchs of the Bible, and rightly so. But we must also acknowledge that any system where men hold all the power is contrary to God’s original plan of partnership.

Patriarchy literally means the rule of the father, and it is the oldest and most enduring form of gender discrimination. Patriarchy sounds benevolent, especially to those who have been raised by loving fathers. But its inherent imbalance can lead to the mistreatment of women.

Just ask Lot’s daughters what they thought of their father offering them to the lecherous men of Sodom (Gen. 19:8).

Or ask Hagar how she felt about being used as a surrogate mother before being fired by her employer Abraham (Gen. 16:3–4).

Or ask the Levite’s concubine what it was like to be offered to a mob of rapists (Jud. 19:25–28).

Nearly every culture practices some form of patriarchy, but scholars disagree over its origins. Some say patriarchy is a consequence of biology (women are stuck at home raising the kids while the men conquer the world). Others look to anthropological and historical causes.

But patriarchy comes straight out of Genesis 3. It’s a fruit of sin.

Patriarchy is oppressive to women, yet many Christian women accept it because they’ve been told it’s biblical.

“The husband is the head of the home and his wife is his helper.”

Such claims are derived from scripture, but they are no more biblical than slavery and genocide. The husband is the head of the marriage, but that does not make him the boss or his wife his valet.

A husband acts like a head by nurturing his wife in the same way Christ cares for his church. In a biblical marriage, both partners have authority over each other, both freely submit to the other out of love, and both let Jesus take the lead.

Patriarchy is demeaning to women, but patriarchy also hurts men. By weakening our queens it weakens our marriages and families. By silencing our wives, it makes it harder for us to hear God’s voice.

Patriarchy clips the wings of our partnerships and deprives us of countless blessings.

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Is a Silent Wife a Gift from the Lord?

September 7, 2022 by Paul Ellis

Recently in New Zealand, there was a job advertisement calling for a couple to manage a holiday camp. According to the ad, the ideal wife would have knowledge of Microsoft Office, know how to work the telephone, and be “of a quiet disposition.”

The implication was that vocal or outspoken wives would not be suitable for the job.

The ad created no small stir because in New Zealand we consider ourselves egalitarian when it comes to women’s rights. In fact, it is against the law to discriminate on the basis of gender. (The man who placed the ad backpedaled in the face of public reaction.)

The ad was more amusing than harmful, but it raises an interesting question. How did we arrive at the notion that a good wife is a quiet wife?

“A silent wife is a gift from the Lord,” said Ben Sira, a Jewish scribe who lived 200 years before Christ. A man fortunate to be married to a good and silent wife “will live twice as long because of her” (Sirach 26:1, 14).

Sage advice. But from where did Ben Sira get this idea that the ideal wife is silent? Perhaps he got it from the story of Adam and Eve.

Eve was the first woman to speak in the Bible. She uttered a few sentences, then she never spoke again. Or at least, no more of her words were deemed worthy of being recorded.

“Better that she should not have spoken at all,” Ben Sira might have said. “For the little she did say led us into a world of hurt.”

He’s not wrong. Adam got into trouble, said God, because he listened to the voice of his wife (see Gen. 3:17).

Who was this Eve who spoke to the serpent?

Tradition tells us she was a temptress who seduced her husband into sin. At best, she was foolish; at worst, she was in cahoots with the devil. Look at any painting of Adam and Eve, and chances are she’s beguiling her husband with the forbidden fruit.

Bad, wicked Eve. She should’ve kept her mouth shut.

Like a good wife from the Lord.

Like a campground manager’s wife.

Would the real Eve please stand up?

We need to take another look at the first woman. The Bible says little about Eve, but the little it says is too important to miss.

Along with her husband, Eve was called by God to rule over the earth. Which means Eve was a queen. Indeed, she was the Queen and the mother of all the kings and queens who came after her.

Yet if you Google “queens of the Bible,” you will not find Eve’s name on any list of royalty. Why not? Maybe it’s because her name is stained with scandal. Eve was the queen who fell. She heeded the serpent and lost her right to reign.

Tradition tells us that Eve was alone when she was seduced by the devil. If her manly husband had been around, the crafty serpent would never had tried his dirty tricks.

Yet the lonely wife interpretation doesn’t square with the biblical account. When the serpent spoke to Eve, her husband was right there with her:

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. (Genesis 3:6)

So Eve can hardly shoulder all the blame for what happened next.

The serpent prevailed because the husband-wife partnership failed to recognize the danger they were in. At least Queen Eve tried to refute the liar. But acting alone, she was no match for the serpent’s cunning.

After the Fall, Eve seems to have been struck from the historical record. Almost nothing she says or does is recorded. Adam had sons who became city-builders and men of renown, but Eve and her daughters were shunted to the side.

Patriarchy replaces partnership

The men of ancient times were kings and conquerors, but the women did nothing worth writing about. After Eve, the words of no woman are recorded in scripture for more than a thousand years.

To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)

These are God’s words, but this was never God’s plan. God wanted Adam to rule with Eve, not over her. He wanted their partnership to bear fruit with joy, not pain.

In Genesis 1 we were ordained to be kings and queens, but in Genesis 3 we lost our crowns. The divinely-mandated partnership between men and women was dissolved by selfishness and sin. God offered us abundant life, but we chose death.

As a result of the Fall, Eve lost her identity and her voice. She went from being co-ruler to being ruled, from a queen to a subject.

“Your desire will be for your husband.” From now on, Eve would find value in the aid she gave to the men in her life. Her sense of self-worth would come from being a good wife and a hardworking mother.

“He will rule over you,” meaning Adam and his sons would have the last word and the final say. They would make the decisions and write the rules. They would create history while their wives raised their children.

Patriarchy in the church

Adam and Eve’s rebellion created an unequal division of labor that persists to this day. Even in the church.

Rank your top ten preachers and teachers and chances are most of them are men. Rank history’s most influential pastors, evangelists, missionaries, and authors, and you’ll get the same result.

The majority are men.

Where are the women? They’re either playing the supportive wife, or they’re sitting silently on the sidelines. For sure, there are notable exceptions, but women who speak with authority are notable precisely because they are exceptions.

Like the women who speak in the Bible, they’re in the minority.

God told Eve she was destined to reign, and one way we rule is by speaking. When the Creator spoke, his creative will shaped a formless and chaotic world. But Eve misspoke and became the silent queen.

Ever since the Fall, Eve’s daughters have been silenced by the men who rule them. “Don’t teach, don’t preach, but if you really must talk, be accountable to a man.”

The Fall of humanity was the worst thing that ever happened to us. God created a partnership of equals, but sin sent our world spiraling into a self-destructive tailspin of misogyny and discrimination. The consequences were catastrophic, even in the church.

But Jesus came to undo the harm and set things right. Jesus listened to women which is to say he encouraged them to speak. Those who followed him did likewise. Despite what you may have heard, the early church encouraged women to teach, preach, and lead.

A woman who speaks – who reveals the words and wisdom God gives her – is a gift from the Lord.

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Why Does Jesus Hate Divorce?

July 20, 2022 by Paul Ellis

In the modern church we think we treat women well. We tell ourselves that we are enlightened, educated and respectful. But in the very next breath we tell women they can’t preach or teach and it would best if they remain silent in our services.

What’s wrong with that picture?!

God made Eve a queen, yet we don’t treat her daughters like princesses. Just look at the shame we dispense to those who are divorced.

A pastor who goes to prison for manslaughter can be rehabilitated and welcomed back into the pulpit, but a woman who has been abused and divorced has zero chance of leading a church.

“Hold up there, Paul. You’re confusing several issues. There are scriptures forbidding…”

Actually, there are no scriptures forbidding divorced women from doing anything. But there is certainly an ancient prejudice against the daughters of Eve. (I discuss those scriptures you’re thinking of elsewhere.)

For now let’s focus on one question: Why does Jesus hate divorce?

Jesus doesn’t hate divorce because it’s a sin or because it breaks God’s rules. He hates it because it hurts the people he loves.

And in the first century, most of the people hurt by divorce were women.

Divorce in the bad old days

In the patriarchal culture of ancient Israel, there was a law that said a man could send his wife away with a certificate of divorce if she no longer found favor in his eyes.

Yes, that’s actually in the Bible (see Deu. 24:1-4).

Under the law of Moses, if your wife got old and wrinkled, you could trade her in for a younger model. It was allowed because, you know… wrinkles.

By the time of Jesus, the rabbis and sages had added a raft of other reasons for divorcing your wife.

You could divorce her if she spoke with a loud voice, fed you untithed meat, or talked to men in public.

If she didn’t produce children within ten years, you could divorce her for breaking the commandment to be fruitful and multiply.

If she went to a friend’s feast when you had told her not to, you could divorce her for that too.

These divorce laws were unfair to women and Jesus hated them.

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:8-9)

In other words, stop kidding yourself. If your partner is faithful and you trade her in for a younger model, you’re the unfaithful one.

Just because it’s lawful and everyone’s doing it, that doesn’t mean God is happy about it.

Yet the situation was even worse because some men were sending away their wives without giving them a certificate of divorce. Maybe they were trying to hold onto dowries or perhaps they were just lazy. In any case, it was an evil practice, for it meant women were being sent out into the cold without any means of support.

Those same men would then carry on like they were single and remarry. It was a national disgrace and Jesus called them out on it.

Whosoever sends away his wife (without a certificate of divorce) and marries another, commits adultery. (Luke 16:18)

Jesus defended women by calling their deadbeat husbands sinners and law-breakers. “You’re breaking the seventh commandment.”

When Jesus laid down the law

Why did Jesus hit these sinners with the law when he gave grace to so many others? Because they were hurting people weaker than themselves and they were doing so under guise of God-fearing religion. They were acting like law-keepers when they were really law-breakers.

This is vintage Jesus. He is not fooled by the silly traditions men invent to cover their poor behavior. He sees through all hypocrisy and cuts right to the heart of the issue.

“You think you are clever with your legal loopholes, but you are going against God’s plan. You are mistreating women.”

I imagine Jesus would say similar things today regarding our habit of discriminating against women in ministry. And he would certainly have something to say about the unkind way we treat women (and men) who are divorced.

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More articles about marriage and divorce.

Who has Authority in a Marriage?

June 8, 2022 by Paul Ellis

Who has the authority in a marriage, the husband or the wife?

For much of human history, the men were in charge, and their wives were considered little more than property. Strangely, Paul seems to support this archaic arrangement when he tells the Corinthians:

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. (1 Corinthians 7:4a)

In other words, she belongs to him. (Can you see the rabbis and philosophers nodding in agreement?)

But then Paul follows up with this stunner:

And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (1 Corinthians 7:4b)

In other words, he belongs to her.

Wait, what?

Aristotle and the sexist philosophers of Athens would’ve fallen off their stools. Men belong to their wives? Has Paul lost his marbles?

Who has the authority in a marriage? Husbands belong to their wives and wives belong to their husbands, and they both have authority over each other.

God’s original plan

If this sounds radical, it’s because we have forgotten God’s original plan. “Two shall become one” (Gen. 2:24). When two become one, each partner gives up their right to live independently of the other.

Each says, “From now on I belong to you.”

For some, this is going too far.

“I belong to no one. You’ll not tie me to the ol’ ball and chain.”

Some would rather cling to their rights than embrace another person.

But marriage is an all-or-nothing proposition. It has to be if the two are to become one. A marriage where only one partner goes all in is like a plane with only one wing. She won’t fly.

Wisdom from the most quoted woman in the Bible

Do you know which woman has the most lines in the Bible? It’s not Mary or Esther. The most quoted woman in the Bible is the Shulammite woman in the Song of Solomon.

This unnamed but wise woman knew a thing or two about love. She was the one who said:

My beloved is mine and I am his. (Song of Solomon 2:16)

This is the airborne language of love. This woman has been swept off her feet by a man who has fully given himself to her.

A few chapters later she repeats her refrain:

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. (Song of Solomon 6:3)

This woman does not sound like she is chafing under the shackles of wedlock.

Then a third time:

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. (Song of Solomon 7:10)

Their shared love is so overwhelming, she can’t stop talking about it. “We were two, but now we are one, and I couldn’t be happier.”

When the Shulamite sings, “His desire is for me,” it’s the same word God used when he said to Eve, “Your desire will be for him.” The fall of humanity upset the harmony between the genders, but love rights the scales. “His desire will be for you.”

The Shulamite’s song is nothing like the selfish songs of the flesh. Her song tells us that in a loving relationship between two equals, submission is erotic, exciting, sensational!

Want to know what a godly partnership looks like? Then hear the words of the Shulamite.

He desires me, and I desire him. My beloved is mine and I am his.

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Are Women Weaker Vessels?

March 9, 2022 by Paul Ellis

Running through the tapestry of human history is a sexist thread that says women are weaker and inferior to men. They are second-born and second-best.

This is what the philosophers and rabbis taught, as did the Church Fathers and theologians. John Chrysostom said the women in the Bible were occasionally admirable, “yet did they in no case outstrip the men, but occupied the second rank.”

John Calvin, the so-called reformer, said:

Let the woman be satisfied with her state of subjection, and not take it amiss that she is made inferior to the more distinguished sex.

Were there ever more shameful examples of male arrogance? Of course, we would never say such things. We know better.

The stronger sex?

Are women weaker vessels? Science tells women have better immune systems, better genes, and they live longer than men. They experience less stress and lower heart disease, and they are much less likely to start wars. Women perform better academically (when given the chance), companies run by women are more profitable, and countries led by women do better at surviving pandemics.

Are women different? Sure.

But weaker? Not a chance.

Yet here’s a phrase I’ve heard from the pulpit: “Women are ill-equipped to preach and lead. Women have more compassion, which makes them vulnerable and prone to deception. It’s all part of God’s divine order.”

Which is a roundabout way of saying that women are inferior to men.

And since women are weaker, they should never preach. Which makes perfect sense because God only uses strong capable people, right?

No, wait.

If God chooses the weak to shame the strong, wouldn’t that make women better leaders than men?

Weakness is no barrier to God. He can demonstrate his wisdom and power through anyone. But who says women are weaker? Apparently, Peter did:

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7)

Peter is not saying women are too weak to preach or lead. He’s saying careless husbands can render their prayers ineffective. But how do they do that? And what makes a woman the weaker partner?

Made by God

When God made the first man and woman, both were very good. One wasn’t weaker or inferior to the other.

But after the Fall, everything changed. Suddenly, men and women were no longer on an equal footing. “He will rule over you” (Gen 3:16). Because of the curse of sin, the woman found herself at a disadvantage. If women are in a weaker position, it is because they have been oppressed by a fallen world that favors men.

When Peter refers to wives as the weaker partner, he is not saying that men can do more push-ups or that females are feeble. He’s saying women are have been victims of an ancient patriarchal prejudice.

And he should know.

Every time he went to the Temple, Peter passed through the outer Women’s Court on his way to the male-only Court of Israel. Every time he went to the synagogue or every time he saw a woman get stoned for adultery, Peter was reminded that women have not had a fair shake. From the day women were born, their rights were weaker, and their prospects were bleaker.

Taking his lead from Jesus, Peter spoke out against this injustice. He encouraged women to prophesy and speak as though speaking the very words of God. He treated women with respect, and he told husbands to treat their wives as fellow heirs of grace.

This was a radical notion for Jewish men. Even today some men have trouble accepting their wives as fellow heirs and equal in the Lord.

“My wife is equal with me? I don’t think so. She’s a weaker vessel who needs to know her place.”

If that’s what you think, your prayers are going to be hindered, because God opposes proud men (1 Pet. 5:5).

Pride hinders our prayers because those who think they need nothing from God get nothing from God. This is why religious superstars are often further from grace than tax collectors and prostitutes (Matt. 21:31b).

As D.L. Moody once said, “It is to the needy that God opens the wardrobe of heaven and brings out the robe of righteousness.”

Like racists, sexist people see others as weaker or inferior. They may not say it aloud, but in their hearts they speak the language of the Pharisee.

“Thank God I’m not a foreigner or a woman.”

If you are not enjoying the grace of God in your life, it may be because you have lorded it over your wife (or husband) when you should have been treating her (or him) as a fellow heir in grace.

Grace for your marriage

Do you look down on your partner or do you submit to them in love? Do you make all the important decisions alone, or do you receive the wisdom that God gives to your other half?

Some men treat their wives poorly because that’s how they were raised. They don’t know any better. If this is you, what can you do? Peter gives practical instruction:

Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. (1 Peter 3:7–8, MSG)

It’s one thing to be humble before the Lord, but Peter exhorts us to be humble with each other and with people who are different from us.

Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. (1 Pet. 5:5)

Women are not inferior, and neither are foreigners, Catholics, Protestants, Democrats, Republicans, divorced people, old people, young people, and single parents.

If you want more of God’s grace to flow in your life, learn to see others as Jesus sees them. The world may dismiss some people as weaker or inferior vessels, but God’s grace flows through flawed and broken people.

Even our spouses.

Fukl sources for quotes and stats are listed in the The Silent Queen. Image source

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Are Women Saved through Childbearing?

February 21, 2022 by Paul Ellis

One of the strangest verses in the Bible is found in Paul’s first letter to Timothy:

But women will be saved through childbearing – if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. (1 Timothy 2:15)

If there was ever a verse that could be misused to promote patriarchy and dead works, it’s this one.

“Stay home, make babies, earn salvation!”

Sounds ridiculous, right? Yet it’s not far removed from what some of the Church Fathers actually taught.

Augustine, the Bishop of Hippo, taught that women were put on earth to serve men and make babies:

I do not see in what sense the woman was made as a helper for the man if not for the sake of bearing children.

Martin Luther likewise taught that the chief purpose of women was to reproduce:

Men have broad and large chests, and small narrow hips, and more understanding than women, who have but small and narrow breasts, and broad hips, to the end they should remain at home, sit still, keep house, and bear and bring up children.

Raising children is a noble occupation, but the picture of a man ruling from his throne while his wife raises the kids alone, is contrary to God’s plan for partnership. It comes from Athens, not Eden.

The scriptures are full of exhortations for men to be proactive and engaged fathers (e.g., Pro. 4:1–4, Eph. 6:4, 1 Thess. 2:11). Men and women are both called to raise children.

And this idea that women can be saved by having babies?! That can’t be right. Can it?

Some translations try and wriggle out of it by translating the word saved as preserved. But the original word (sozo) is almost always translated as save or saved elsewhere in the Bible.

Are women really saved through childbearing?

The first thing to note about this strange verse is the word women. This word should be in italics as it has been added by translators. Paul never said it.

Other Bibles translate his words as “she will be saved through childbearing.” Who is she? It is the woman Paul has just been talking about, namely Eve.

For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve… but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. (1 Timothy 2:13–14)

Eve was deceived and became a sinner, but that wasn’t the end of her story. She was saved through childbearing, meaning her Offspring – the Seed of Eve otherwise known as Jesus – undid the damage.

Recall the promise God made to the serpent:

And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise you on the head… (Genesis 3:15)

Are women saved through childbearing? No, but women (and men) are saved because Eve bore a child. No baby, no Jesus.

Imagine if fallen Eve had refused to bear children. Imagine if she had been so racked with guilt and shame that she said, “I will not bring any children into the world.” That would have been a disaster! God’s redemptive purposes would never have come to pass.

Thank God Eve bore children or none of us would be here and none of us could be saved.

Which is a lovely way for Paul to close out what he has been saying. “Because Adam failed to train his wife, Eve fell into deception, and humanity was lost. But God redeemed their mess by giving us a Savior, born from the couple who fell.”

What a Great Redeemer is our God.

Continue in faith, love and holiness

Now that last bit:

– if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

Some read this as though Paul was preaching conditional salvation. “As long as you maintain propriety or self-control, you’re saved. But have a bad day and you’re out.”

Paul was not saying this at all. Paul’s frequent exhortations to continue in the faith or continue in the grace of God should not be read as threats to your eternal salvation.

He’s saying, “Don’t be tossed and turned, but keep your eyes on Jesus. Continue trusting him and you won’t be seduced into dead works or religious superstition.”

Again, the context is the key. The immediate context is Eve; the larger context is Timothy’s church in Ephesus.

The Ephesians worshipped the many-breasted Artemis, the goddess of childbirth and midwifery. Artemis was just about the ugliest, most-repulsive idol you could imagine, yet the superstitious and fearful came from miles around to pray to her.

Now imagine you are an Ephesian believer facing a difficult birth. You live in a world without antibiotics, painkillers, and C-sections. You know people who have died during childbirth, and you worry that it could happen to you. What can you do?

For an Ephesian woman, the temptation would be to fall back on old habits and offer sacrifices to Artemis.

“Don’t do that,” said Paul. “There’s no salvation there. Fear not and continue to trust God. Just look at the mighty salvation he wrought through the childbearing Eve.”

What does this mean for us?

We may never be tempted to worship an idol with more udders than a herd of cows. For us, superstition and dead works take other forms.

When facing a trial, we might be tempted to pray a little more or give a little more or go to church a little more in the misguided belief that we can bribe God with our efforts.

“I’ll do something for you, if you do something for me.”

It’s very easy to think like this but when we do we are no longer continuing in faith, love and holiness. We’re walking after the flesh.

The word for propriety means sound mind. If you want a sound mind in times of trouble, don’t look to yourself for salvation, but fix your eyes on the Savior. Hasten to enter his rest and let nothing move you.

Paul is not saying women are saved by making babies. Nor is he saying a woman’s place is in the home or women must raise children alone.

He’s saying continue to trust the God who saves, and you will have grace for your trials.

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Update: Paul’s book The Silent Queen has won a medal at the 2022 Illumination Book Awards!

Why did Mary Find Favor with God?

December 14, 2021 by Paul Ellis

Imagine God asked you to recruit the mother of the Messiah. Two women have been shortlisted, and you have been asked to pick the best one.

The first woman has an impeccable pedigree being descended from Aaron the high priest; the other is a nobody from the no-name town of Nazareth.

The first one is married to a highly-regarded priest; the other is a teenager engaged to a tradesman.

The first one will go down in history as “righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord” (Luke 1:6); the second has done nothing worth writing about.

Which one is the more suitable candidate? I suspect many people would choose the first woman (her name was Elizabeth), but God chose the latter (Mary).

The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; for you have found favor with God.” (Luke 1:30)

How did Mary find favor with God?

Who is favored by God?

I’ve been thinking about this question because it comes up in the discussion guide I just wrote for my latest script. Why did God choose Mary? What made her special?

Some say God chose Mary because “she must have been of high character.” In other words, Mary was a moral woman.

Others say Mary was pious, meaning she was blameless in terms of the law. Just like Elizabeth.

Then there are those who believe that Mary was sinless.

These explanations appeal to our religious sensibilities, but none of them is Biblical. If God was looking for a moral woman with the right pedigree and performance, he would have chosen Elizabeth. But he chose Mary, a young girl with little to commend her.

So here’s a question to discuss at the Christmas table: Why did Mary find favor with God? And here’s a follow-up question: How do we find favor with God?

Mary was not favored on account of anything she had done; she was favored because God was with her.

Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you. (Luke 1:28)

It’s the same with us.

You may be the youngest and the most insignificant believer in the kingdom, but you are as favored as Mary, because the Lord is with you (see Eph. 1:6).

I’m not joking.

Whether you lead a ministry of millions or live on a rock tending toadstools, if the Lord is with you, you are as favored as the mother of the Messiah.

But why Mary?

If God’s favor is unmerited, why did he pick Mary? Why not pick some other girl? Why not pick Elizabeth?

God could not just choose anyone. To fulfill the prophecies, the mother of the Messiah had to be a humble Jewish virgin living in Nazareth. She had to be ready to give birth in Bethlehem and then go live in Egypt for a while (see Is. 7:14, Mic. 5:2, Hos. 11:1, Matt, 2:23, 4:15). She had to be descended from the royal line of David or marry someone who was (Matt. 1:1, 20, Luke 1:32, 2:4).

At the time of Jesus’ birth, there were about half a million people living in Israel. Of this number, only a small proportion would have been unwed teenaged virgins. And of this group, only one woman ticked all the prophetic boxes. Her name was Mary.

But even that answer doesn’t quite capture why God chose Mary.

The God who sees the end from the beginning picked Mary long before those prophecies were given. God picked Mary because she had the one thing that matters when it comes to finding favor: faith.

And Mary said, “Behold the servant of the Lord; may it be done to me according to thy word.” (Luke 1:38)

Highlight these words of Mary, for this is the language of faith. These are the words of someone who knows how to find the favor of God.

Faith attracts favor

God is good to all of us. His favor shines on everyone indiscriminately. But God only dwells with those who open the doors of their hearts. It is through faith that we find favor.

Cast your mind back to the beginning of the human story. God is in the Garden of Eden rebuking the serpent. He declares that the Seed of Eve will crush the devil’s head. As he is saying this he is scanning the future, looking for a mother. His gaze stretches past the law and the prophets and into the New Testament.

As the entirety of human history unfolds before him, God sees millions of suitable women with faith. So God decides to shorten the list.

“To demonstrate my glory I will choose a woman with no name from a town of no significance in a country of no consequence.”

So God whittles down his list and lands on Mary. In God’s eyes, she is the right person at the right time.

And so are you.

You are not going to give birth to a Messiah, but if you have faith, God will bear his fruit in your life. You don’t need to do a thing to make this happen. You don’t need to acquire a reputation and a track record. You don’t need to be blameless in the eyes of the law.

You just need to be like Mary, and believe.

A Mary Christmas

When God speaks into your life, you need to say, “may it be done to me according to your word.” God speaks, you obey, and your ordinary no-account life turns into Christmas.

Christmas is special, because God is with you. It is not the banquet or the tree that makes Christmas special. Christmas is special because it’s the day we remember God with us.

After Christmas the dirty dishes will be in the sink and the tree will be headed for the curbside, but God will still be with us. He’ll never leave us nor forsake us. And if you believe that – if you get up every morning with the same faithful attitude as Mary – you’ll continue to enjoy his favor on Boxing Day, New Year’s Day, and every other day.

Happy Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Day.

Image: “Maryiam” by Holly Schapker

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Are you Complementarian, Egalitarian, or Something Else?

December 8, 2021 by Paul Ellis

Hi friends,

This week marks the first anniversary of the release of my book The Silent Queen: Why the Church Needs Women to Find their Voice. I just checked and I am surprised to find it is my highest-rated book on Amazon. Thank you!

To mark the anniversary, below is an extract from the book. Here I identify three views on women that you encounter in the church. Which one is yours? Tell me in the comments below.

One last thing: At the bottom of this article, you will find a world exclusive – the cover of my latest Jesus Script – plus a special Christmas offer.

Happy Christmas!

Paul

Are you complementarian, egalitarian, or something else?

Every one of us holds a view about the role of women. What can they do; what can’t they do? Your answers to these questions defines your bias.

“Wait, I’m not biased!”

Relax. We are all biased, and the sooner we acknowledge our biases, the sooner we can have a meaningful discussion.

“My views come straight out of scripture!”

That’s what everyone says.

We may think that our biases are informed by scripture, but often it is the other way around. We come to the Bible wearing certain lenses, and what we look through determines what we see.

What is your bias? Here are three lenses or perspectives the church has towards women:

The traditional hierarchical view
The complementarian view
The egalitarian view

The traditional or hierarchical view says women are inferior to men. This was the line taken by theologians who said women were created in the image of men rather than God. Since she is inferior by design, they said, a woman’s role is to serve her husband, and she can never lead. “A woman, however learned and holy, may not take upon herself to teach in an assembly of men,” said the men of the Fourth Synod of Carthage.

Then there is the complementarian view that says women are equal in value but unequal in role. In the same way a child is equal but subordinate to a parent, a wife is subordinate to her husband or church leaders.

The complementarian view differs from the traditional perspective in that it affirms the equality of women, while reinforcing stereotypes about men being natural-born leaders. “Some governing and teaching roles within the church are restricted to men,” says one complementarian website. In the home as in the church, men lead and women follow.

Finally, there is the egalitarian view that says God made men and women equal in every way—they are equal in value and equal in role.

Since men and women were given joint responsibility to rule over creation, both can lead. This is not to deny the differences between the genders or to suggest those differences are unimportant. But to quote the Christians for Biblical Equality, the egalitarian view recognizes that “God calls women and men of all cultures, races, and classes to share authority equally in service and leadership in the home, church, and world.”

Name your bias

Are you a traditionalist, a complementarian, or an egalitarian?

What we label, we diminish, but if I had to choose between these perspectives, I would be unashamedly egalitarian. I’m a Kiwi married to a Dane; how could I not be?

But I am not a rabid egalitarian. On the one hand, I am convinced that equality protects us from the abuses of hierarchy and the misuse of authority. But on the other, I fear the dogged pursuit of equality can hinder authentic relationships.

Like a referee, equality is essential, but it’s not the game. It is not the ultimate goal. For the Christian, the higher goal is love.

Jesus never said his disciples would be known for their equality and sense of fair play. We are to be known for the way we serve, respect, and prefer one another. If we settle for equality, there’s a danger we will fall short of all that God has in store for us, particularly in our marriages.

Equality is not the end game in the war on gender discrimination; it’s the starting point for the new creation.

Equality is a good thing, but what we do with it is far more important. I look forward to the day when my daughters have the same opportunities as my son, but I’m much more interested in what they will do with those opportunities.

Imagine a church where women get the same respect and take on the same roles as men. Actually, you don’t need to imagine such a church at all. Just read the Book of Acts, and you will see that a church where all are valued can change the world.

It happened before, and it can happen again.

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For more info, visit JesusScripts.com

How Does a Husband Act Like a Head?

November 3, 2021 by Paul Ellis

Here’s a line you may have heard: “God has ordained the husband to be the head of the marriage, which means he’s in charge.”

The first bit is biblical; the second bit is not.

Headship, in a Biblical sense, has nothing to do with superiority or being in charge. The Greek philosophers taught that men were to rule their homes like lords of the manner, and some of the Church Fathers bought into that. But Jesus and the Apostles said no such thing.

Do you want a godly and blessed marriage? Do you want to know what headship really looks like? Then consider the pattern established by God.

At the head of the human race, God placed a man. Being first in the line does not make Adam more or less special than Eve, but it did mean he was privy to instructions that Eve never heard.

God told Adam to avoid the forbidden tree. God didn’t tell Eve because she hadn’t yet been made. It fell to Adam to convey God’s will to Eve, and tragically he failed.

It was Adam’s job to keep the garden serpent-free, and he failed at that too.

Adam was the head who didn’t lead, and as a result the first marriage partnership failed. If Eve had been made first, these concerns would have been her responsibility. But being made second meant she could not succeed unless Adam succeeded.

Adam was the head who failed to act like a head. In contrast, Jesus is the head leads well.

God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way. (Eph 1:22–23)

Jesus is the head of everything, and his headship is exercised through the church and for the church. In the same way, a husband’s headship is not exercised upon his marriage, but through his marriage and for the benefit of his marriage.

A true king does not rule his queen like an Athenian. Rather, he rules with his queen and for the benefit of his queen like Jesus.

According to the English theologian Matthew Poole, “The man is called the head of the woman, because by God’s ordinance he is to rule over her. He has an excellency above the woman, and a power over her.”

Like Aristotle, Poole believed the husband to be superior to the wife for the same reason that “the head in the natural body, being the seat of reason, and the fountain of sense and motion, is more excellent than the rest of the body.”

If that offends you – and I hope it does because it’s unbiblical trash – change the channel. Don’t listen to Poole; listen to Paul. The Apostle Paul never said the husband was superior and more excellent to his wife. Instead, he spoke of mutual submission and preferring one another. He spoke of that divine mystery we know as the one-flesh team:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. (Eph 5:31)

Children obey their parents, but when a marriage is formed, everything changes. The daughter no longer submits to her father, for she has become joined to her husband. Her husband is now her head.

Similarly, the husband is no longer beholden to his parents, but he submits to his wife. They have become a one-flesh team ready to take on the world.

Just as wives need to be liberated from patriarchal bondage, husbands need to be liberated from the unholy burden that they alone are responsible for all that happens in the home. You and your spouse are a one-flesh team created to lead together.

Partnership is not always easy, especially when you have the weight of tradition pressuring you to conform to ungodly roles and stereotypes. For the sake of your marriage resist that pressure. What God has joined together, let no man separate.

The crown upon his head

Women were never meant to be ruled by men, yet because of the Greeks and the patriarchs and the Fall of Man, here we are. If we are to return to God’s original plan, we need a better definition of headship, and Jesus is our definition.

If we men are to be godly husbands, let us take our cue from the One who gave his life for his church.

A godly head cares for and nurtures his wife. He respects her as a partner in Christ and acknowledges her God-given talents and gifts.

He provides for her and seeks to please her.

He encourages and comforts her and helps her to walk in the way that God has set before her.

He prays for her and with her.

He sets an example for her to follow and points her to Jesus in all things.

The primary way in which a husband serves as a head is by loving his wife as his own body and by giving himself up for her. He leads in the art of love.

And so does she.

His wife is a queen made in the image of God. Filled with the Spirit, she is just as capable of leading as he is.

As the proverb says, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown.”

If her husband is the head, then she is the crown that sits upon it.

Source: The Silent Queen

In Marriage, Who Takes the Lead?

September 8, 2021 by Paul Ellis

If you have been raised with a traditional view of marriage, you’ve probably heard the husband is in charge. “In a marriage, the man is God’s delegated authority. He leads.”

It sounds Biblical, but it isn’t. It has more in common with those sexist advertisements of yesteryear than anything said by the Apostle Paul.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them (Col. 3:19)

The word for love (agapao) is a verb associated with the unconditional love (agape) of God. In other words, men, if you want to know what real love is like, look to Jesus who laid down his life for you. Do the same for your wife.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord (Col. 3:18)

This should not be read as an invitation for the husband to dominate the wife like he’s lord of the manor. Instead, it’s an invitation for the wife to submit out of love, as is fitting in the Lord. In other words, if you want to know what submission is like, look to the One who has a gentle and humble heart.

We need to take a moment to reflect on what Paul is saying, because no one ever said anything like this before.

In ancient Israel you loved your wife for as long as she provided you with children and didn’t displease you. If she failed to perform, you could replace her for a better model.

“That’s not love,” Paul would have said. “Loving your wife has nothing to do with her appearance or ability to prepare tasty meals. Nor does it have anything to do with your feelings. True love is intentional. It is choosing to love an imperfect person with the perfect love God has shown you.”

It takes two to tango and it takes two loving people to make a good marriage. It’s not always easy, but when the husband and wife both respect and prefer one another, the result is a blessed and fruitful partnership.

Love in la-la land

If you have been raised in a culture where the men rule and women do what they’re told, a marriage of equals can seem like something out of la-la land.

How can a marriage work when there are two chiefs?

It works when each chief is totally committed to the success of the other. He plays the supportive husband, and she plays the supportive wife, because both want the best for each other.

Equality in role relationships does not mean both partners take turns doing every household chore. Equality means the husband and wife are equally willing to work hard and make adjustments in their marriage. Decisions are made jointly, and the division of tasks is based on preferences rather than gender stereotypes.

But what if the two chiefs can’t agree? What then? When push comes to shove, who gets the final call?

Speaking about her relartionship with her husband, the late Rachel Held Evans offered this answer:

We never really know how to respond to this question because, frankly we don’t do a lot of “pushing and shoving” in our relationship. We’ve never reached the great hypothetical impasse that folks seem so curious about. Even when we disagree, we find compromises based on multiple factors, not a gender-based trump card.

I couldn’t agree more. Camilla and I have been married for more than 20 years and in that time, I can only think of a few occasions when we didn’t see eye to eye. Major disagreements just don’t come up that often, and when they do, they are usually no match for our mutual love and respect.

I’m not saying we’re the Von Trapp family singing away our problems…

That would be cuckoo. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

But love conquers all.

Except when it doesn’t.

It’s a sad fact of life that some marriages break, and people get hurt. Those who promote traditional or patriarchal marriages believe marriages fail when partners are unwilling to accept the roles for which they are designed. “Problems arise when the men don’t lead and the women don’t submit.”

If that were true, hierarchical marriages would be the happiest and longest lasting. They are not. Research shows that the divorce rates of Christians are little different from atheists and agnostics.

Unhappy hierarchical marriages

Marriages fail because the people in them are unhappy, and the unhappiest marriages are the traditional ones.

A large study of 50,000 couples found that role relationships have a tremendous impact on marital satisfaction. Most couples in egalitarian marriages (81 percent) are happy, while most couples (82 percent) in traditional marriages are unhappy.

It’s no surprise to learn that marriages characterized by mutual respect and equality are happier. What is surprising is that many Christian marriages are intentionally unequal. They are more Athenian than Ephesian, and perhaps this is why our divorce rates are so high.

But who’s in charge?

We have been discussing love and submission, but we have skirted around the issue of who takes the lead in a marriage.

Jesus does.

He leads and guides us and shows us how to love our partners through thick and thin, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And Jesus teaches us how to forgive, which is key to success in any relationship.

In a traditional marriage, forgiveness, like submission, is coerced from the woman. “Forgive his failings because he’s your husband.”

But true forgiveness, like submission, is something we give in response to love. We don’t forgive because we’re supposed to or because we fear divine wrath. We forgive one other as Christ forgave us.

Your partner will make mistakes, disappoint you, and let you down. When that happens, be quick to forgive. Dispense the patience and compassion that you have received from Jesus.

Let his grace heal both your wounds.

Extracted and adapted from The Silent Queen.

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Should Women Remain Silent in Church? What Does the Bible Really Say?

August 11, 2021 by Paul Ellis

Should women stay silent in church?

Hmm. Tough question. What does the Bible say?

NO

Act 1:14 They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the WOMEN.

NO

Act 2:4 ALL of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues.

NO

Act 2:17 I will pour out my Spirit on ALL people and your sons and DAUGHTERS will prophesy.

NO

Act 4:31 They were ALL filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

NO

Rom 12:6-7 If YOUR GIFT is prophesying, then prophesy; if it is teaching, then teach.

NO

1 Cor 12:7 Now to EACH ONE the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.

NO

1 Cor 14:5 Now I wish that you ALL spoke in tongues, but even more that you would prophesy.

NO

1 Cor 14:31 For you can ALL prophesy in turn so that everyone may be instructed and encouraged.

NO

1 Cor 14:39 Therefore, my brothers and SISTERS, be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues.

NO

1 Pet 4:10 EACH OF YOU should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

NO

1 Pet 4:11 If ANYONE speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God.

Selah.

If that doesn’t settle the issue for you, check out Acts 21:9, Romans 12:6, 16:1, 3, 12, 1 Corinthians 12:11, 27, 14: 27, 29, 39, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 3:28, and 1 Peter 2:9.

You should have no doubt about the Bible’s position on this subject: Women are NOT to remain silent in the church. For the sake of the body, let every part function as God intended.

But wait – what about 1 Cor. 14:35?

The women are to keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but are to subject themselves, just as the Law also says.

These are not Paul’s words; he is repeating a question put to him by the Corinthians. In the Greek and Jewish communities, women were expected to keep silent in the assemblies. They even had laws about it.

“Shouldn’t we follow their example and have the women stay silent in the church?” asked the Corinthians.

“Absolutely not,” thundered the apostle.

What then shall we say, brothers and SISTERS? When you come together, EACH OF YOU has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up.
1 Cor. 14:26

One more time for emphasis: Women should NOT stay silent in church but should be encouraged to speak, sing, teach, pray, prophesy, and yes, even preach and lead, as the Spirit guides.

But can women really do all these things?

Enough already. Don’t you know we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses who marvel to think that we would even ask such an unbiblical question? That we have bought into an idea so far removed from scripture, testifies to the perverse power of tradition and patriarchy.

It is time for us to renew our minds and stop muzzling half of the body of Christ.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.

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Other articles about women in the church. Share them if you dare:

Are women permitted to teach?

Are women more easily deceived?

Do you have a Biblical view of women?

How did Jesus empower women?

If a women can’t be a husband, she can’t be a pastor, right?

Is the church too feminine?

Is the Bible sexist?

Jesus listened to women, why don’t we?