GRACE BLOGS COLLECTION
Jesus made room at his table for everyone, including those on opposite ends of thought. At Jesus’ table, everyone has a place and everyone is equal. I can imagine that the discussions that went on among his disciples were pretty lively at times, especially between two of them — Matthew, the tax collector and Simon, the zealot.
In Jesus’ time and country, a tax collector was a Jewish man who was working for the Roman government. They were looked upon with disdain by their fellow Jews. They were not included in the temple, nor were they guests of honor at anyone’s party. The tax collectors would basically bid for their job. They would tell Rome they could extract X amount of dollars in taxes. If the number pleased the Romans they got the job. However, many of them collected way more than their bid, which they ended up pocketing. They were extorting their fellow countryman for the sake of their oppressors.
Zealots, on the other end of the spectrum, were revolutionaries. They were the ones that wanted to take Israel back from Roman domination. They wanted their country back and they were willing to kill Romans to get it back. They believed in the sovereignty of Israel and were willing to lay down their lives for the cause. They hated the Romans and wanted them gone.
Jesus invites both of these men to his table and his team. I wish I could go back in time and see these two men interact with one another. It would be like putting the most conservative Republican on the same team with the most liberal Democrat. Jesus had some guts. And he made it work.
What this shows me is that it’s possible to disagree with someone and still work together, and *gasp* even be friends. Jesus’ instructed these guys to love one another as their commitment to him. He taught them to serve one another as he had served them. He taught them to love one another as he had loved them.
I am sure that it took a while for these two to get it but eventually, they did. Both had to give up their ideologies for a picture of a much bigger kingdom. Jesus wasn’t interested in the politics of his day. He was interested in establishing his kingdom. I think the same is true today.
Now, back to American politics. It really grieves me the way that the American Church is acting over politics. You would think that we were at war with one another split down a political line. I’ve read so many statements on Facebook about how you cannot be a Christian if you vote for Hilary Clinton. I’ve read about the same number of people stating there’s no way you can be a Christian and vote for Donald Trump.
My Christianity isn’t based on who I vote for . . . my Christianity is based upon whom I confess as Lord . . . and that is Christ.
You would think that during election time Christians somehow have managed to throw out the teachings of Jesus until after election day. Even then there will be doomsayers on whichever side loses. So many people are afraid the country is going to hell in a hand basket if either candidate gets elected. Folks, I have heard this rhetoric since I started voting.
If we truly believe that Jesus is Lord then stop your bellyaching, name-calling, mud-slinging and judging and start doing what he told us to do…prefer one another and love one another as he loved us, especially towards those that disagree with you.
In the end, our trust has to be in HIM and not a political party. Neither Trump or Clinton will be the savior of the United States. Neither one of them are, nor will be, the perfect candidate.
If Jesus can take two opposing men and bring them together, helping them understand there is a larger kingdom that we are to be concerned with, then don’t you think we should do the same?
My fellow Christians, please hear me . . . you are a Christ-follower first and foremost, an American second, and a member of a political party (or not) third. Don’t forget that order. Right now the people outside of the Church think we are a bunch of whiny cry-babies when we don’t get our way.
We are to be known for our love, not our political affiliation. If you want to immerse yourself in the political arena, then, by all means, go for it. Just remember who you represent! You represent Love (for God is love). Jesus taught his followers to love their enemies and to bless those that persecuted them. He said this to a group of people living under a hard and repressive regime.
At the end of the day, someone will win, and someone is going to lose. God will still be God 
and live will continue on. Will there be changes? Of course, hopefully for the betterment of everyone. Regardless of who is in the White House, we are called to pray for our leaders, submit to the governing authorities and do all we can to live in peace.
There’s a place for you at the table of Jesus. There’s also a place for the person who politically believes exactly opposite as you do.
Matthew and Simon learned the lessons of Jesus.
Will we? I sure hope so!
For a very interesting article on a greater kingdom perspective in this election, read Brian Zahnd’s article on How I Am Voting.
We’ve all seen the Facebook posts and the pictures flooding social media: Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, All Lives Matter. All Lives Matter started after Black Lives Matter. It was, in my opinion, a way of saying that black lives do matter but not more so than any other life.
The question remains, though, do we really believe that all lives matter? We have a tendency to politize things, say things that we don’t mean and mean things that we don’t really say. Do ALL lives really matter?
Let’s think about this for a moment.
Do the lives of the homeless matter? If so, then why do we have so many? Why are they passed by and ignored? Why are they silently judged and condemned? Most of us would like to believe that they are homeless by choice. Some of them are. Some of them have chosen that life. However, there are many that have not. They need help but there is no help for them. I have been guilty of ignoring their plight. I have been guilty of not wanting to give money because I don’t know their full story (i.e. whether they are worthy of my money or not). The problem is: to ignore someone is to say that they don’t matter.
Do the lives of the elderly matter? If so, then why do so many of them languish in nursing homes without anyone coming to visit or check on them? So many have families that never visit or check on them. So they stay there alone, ignored, and despised, sometimes for simply not being able to take care of themselves. Some do not have family and just do not have anyone to care about them. Again, to ignore them is to say they don’t matter.
Do the lives of the unborn matter? If so, then why are they aborted? Oh, I know that many would argue they are not really a life because they have not entered the world yet. But here’s the hypocrisy of that argument: how is that a man can be charged with double homicide for killing a pregnant woman but a pregnant woman aborting her baby is exercising her choice? Doesn’t make much sense to me. If it’s not a living being then there is no double murder. If it is a living being then abortion is murder. I know this is a touchy, hotly debated issue but if we are going to say that all lives matter, then ALL lives have to matter.
Do the lives of convicts matter? If so, then why are they so harshly judged and condemned. “Well, they are getting what they deserve. Don’t commit a crime if you can’t do the time.” That’s the prevailing attitude. I am not saying that people who commit crimes should not be penalized. However, when does that penalty stop? I’ve seen too many men get out of prison after serving their time, paying their debt to society and still be treated like animals because they did something stupid. But, I guess their lives don’t matter as much as a non-criminal.
I still believe in the death penalty but I know of plenty of Christians that do not because of the argument that if you are going to be truly pro-life then you have to be pro-ALL-life including convicted murders. To these Christians, ALL life does matter.
Do the lives of the LGBT community matter? If so, then why are they so harshly judged by the Church? Why are they condemned and considered perverts and outcasts? Most would answer, “Well, the Bible says so!!!” Yes, the Bible does speak about homosexuality. It also addresses fornication, adultery, lying, gossip, hate, overeating and other sins that we like to ignore and overlook. Most likely because these are “our” sins that we don’t want to be convicted of. Just a thought.
Do the lives of Muslims matter? If so, why are so quick to judge all Muslims as terrorists? I know that there are terrorists that kill in the name of their god. I know that terrorism must be stopped. I am not certain that our quickness to kill can be considered Christ-like, especially when we consider the fact there have been thousands of innocent civilians killed in drone strikes. Oh well, they were just born in the wrong country, to the wrong family in the wrong religion. Their lives matters if they do what is right (according to me that is).
I hope that you get my point. I recognize that there will be valid arguments on each of these issues that need to be addressed. However, at the core of who I am as a Christian, I must love people like Jesus loved me. His death on the cross proved that my life matters. I believe that my life matters. I believe that the lives of those I love and care about matters. And, I must believe that those that are different from me, even my enemies that might want me dead, their lives matter too. They mattered to Jesus because He died for them as much as He died for me.
What I am saying is that unless we truly believe that ALL lives matter then we need top stop saying it. Personally, I contend that what we really believe is….all lives matter, just not equally.
The true test of whether we believe all lives matter is when we are faced with being offended or threatened. I can say that all lives matter, but if someone is trying to hurt my children then suddenly my children’s lives take precedence in that situation and their lives, to me, matter more. Most of us would agree with that. So, in that instance, all lives do not matter equally.
We must come face to face with our own hypocrisy, racism, and self-righteousness. We must learn to stop ignoring people that are different because to ignore them is to say they don’t matter. In my heart, I want to believe that ALL lives really do matter — equally. However, my actions, attitudes, and judgements don’t always reflect this.
We might believe that all lives matter, just not all lives matter equally.
I do know that to God all lives really do matter equally. He died to prove that.
Stretch marks are unsightly. They occur on people who have either gained weight or on women during pregnancy because the body is gaining weight rapidly and the skin cannot keep up with the changes. They happen because the skin gets stretched due to growth. I don’t know anyone that likes them or even desires them.
Stretch marks represent growth. A body grows causing the skin to stretch and tug resulting in stretch marks. While it happens every day in the natural, it should be happening to us spiritually as well. If natural stretch marks represent growth, then spiritual stretch marks represent growth as well.
But in order to grow, we must be stretched. And that’s not always easy nor pleasant. But stretching is necessary if we are going to grow. I deeply believe that God is more interested in our growth of character than he is our comfort. And our growth of character is almost always painful. But it is necessary.
I want spiritual stretch marks. I want to have signs that I am being stretched and growing. Paul talked about the marks that he bore in his body because of the Gospel.
Galatians 6:17 “From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.”
I know that he is not talking about spiritual stretch marks. He is talking about being physically beaten and stoned. While I doubt that I will ever be persecuted for my faith to the extent that I am physically beaten, I can bear on my body the marks of Jesus in becoming more like him.
We should always be growing. But, there are seasons in our life where the growth is difficult. We fight the changes that God wants to bring into our life. We resist change. We don’t want to give up things that He is asking us to give up. We don’t want to deal with character issues or sins that we may not want to be getting rid of. We fight His dealings with us over holding unforgiveness and bitterness towards another person. As we go through these struggles our “spiritual skin” is stretched resulting in spiritual stretch marks.
While they are certainly unsightly in the natural, for me my spiritual stretch marks represent all the areas I have grown in. They are a reminder of how hard change was, how I was stretched uncomfortably and how that I did manage to grow through the difficulty.
I wish that change was easy. I admire bodybuilders that have worked with weights and exercise to form their bodies where their muscles are ripped and bulging. That will never be me because I don’t want to put in the work and effort required to do that. I want six pack abs but don’t have the desire, nor the motivation, to bring mine out of hiding. But even body builders get stretch marks. It’s because their muscles are growing faster than their skin. It’s a sign of growth.
So, my point is try to not struggle with the growth that God wants to bring into your life. The past couple of years has been a major season of growing for me. It’s been a period of lots of stretching, tugging, challenging growth. Some days I fought it, falling into the muck and mire of self-pity. Other days I was embracing the change and the growth. I am glad that God has me where I am right now. There is no way that I would want to go through everything that I have been through, but I wouldn’t trade my stretch marks for anything.
The good news is that stretch marks can go away. Naturally, you can use creams and lotions. I believe that in the spiritual the Lord also helps us to get rid of spiritual stretch marks by rubbing in His healing balm. They are simply a short term reminder of our growth.
I know that the Bible doesn’t talk about spiritual stretch marks. I have taken some dramatic license here to illustrate my point. For me, the season that I have been in has resulted in some serious spiritual growth and I feel the marks. In the natural, people tend to hide their stretch marks. I think we do the same spiritually. Sometimes when we are going through tests, trials and circumstances that God uses for our growth, we can feel shame and embarrassment because we don’t have it all together. We feel “less than” because we are struggling with doubts and fears. So, we tend to hide, isolating ourselves from others.
But we need each other. We are called to bear one another’s burdens. The spiritually strong are called to support the spiritually weak, without judgment or condemnation. We all need someone to help us through our growth season. We all need someone to be an encourager and a support. The stretching time in our life is usually hard and we need the support of others.
What about you? Has God been stretching you in your character, thinking, gifting or spiritual maturity? Do you have any “spiritual stretch marks” to show?
All of us have gone through hard times, suffered loss and tragedy, and at times even made some really costly mistakes. Many times we think that we have hit the end of the road. We wonder how things can be salvaged out of the mess that has been created.
What’s really frustrating, to me anyway, is when the mess I am in was created by someone else. It’s one thing to suffer at the hands of my own stupid decisions and choices. It’s another thing, and much more aggravating, to suffer due to someone else’s poor decisions and choices.
But, I serve a God that is able to make all things new, turn whatever mess I am in into a message of redemption and take every test and trial and turn them into a testimony of victory. I don’t know how He does it but He does.
With God, nothing is wasted. No trial, mess, tear, stupid decision or consequence is wasted with God. He can take everything good and bad in your life and use it for your benefit, the benefit of others and ultimately, His glory.
Right now, I am in a transitional season in my life. I have been going down a path that I did not choose for myself. Based on the decisions of others, I find myself in a place that I don’t really want to be. I have often wondered, “is this the best that it’s going to get?”
Have you ever been there? It’s so frustrating. Deep down I know that God is preparing me for something greater (or at least, most days, I am hoping so). Deep down I know that He is faithful and will not neglect me nor has He ever forgotten me. Deep down, I know these things to be true.
Unfortunately, there are days that I don’t live deep down! There are some days when I live in the shallow pit of my emotions. There are some days that I allow my thoughts to get carried away and I lose sight of the fact that NOTHING IS WASTED WITH GOD!
Everything that I have been through, God will use to grow me and to help me understand what others are going through. You cannot understand someone’s story unless you have a similar one. I will never know what it’s like to be addicted to drugs because I have never been addicted to drugs. For those that have, and have been delivered, God will use that to help someone else. It’s not been wasted.
Even though I don’t know what it’s like to be addicted, I have my own stories. I have my own issues. I have my own messes. On the days that I find myself swimming in the shallow end of self-pity and bad moods, I have to remind myself that nothing is wasted with God. Everything I am experiencing right now will be used for a greater purpose.
When I think about all the different characters in the Bible, I realize that 1) God can and will use anybody, and 2) our mistakes and messes don’t thwart Him a bit. Just reading the genealogy of Jesus shows us that God can and will use anyone. God’s not afraid of our messes or mistakes.
God uses the situations in our lives to mold us into better human beings that have greater empathy for those around us. That’s why I love Hebrews 4:15-16 so much.
For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Because Jesus knows the weaknesses and frailties of humanity, He gives us grace and mercy. He understands the messes that we get ourselves into. He gives us grace and mercy to get out of those messes with a message of hope, love and forgiveness.
He takes all of our issues, problems, mistakes, messes, tragedies, disappointments, and failures, runs them through His grace and somehow, some way, something amazingly beautiful comes out of it all. The scripture is true that declares, “He gives beauty for ashes.” (Isaiah 61:3)
I have a dear friend that has just started blogging. Her blog is about her life’s story. In her blog, she shares about a lot of the messes that she has found herself in. And yet, God, her loving Father, is taking every single one of those messes and is turning them into an amazing tapestry that others will look at and see as beautiful. My friend is just one shining example of how nothing is wasted with God.
What about you? Have you ever felt that some decisions you made in life were wasted? Have you ever felt insignificant? Have you ever felt that things were too bad for God to redeem? I know that I have had my fair share of seemingly hopeless issues. I have to always remind myself that, with God, nothing is wasted.
Have you ever wanted something that you were told you couldn’t have? For some reason, it always seems to make us want it even more. Some would call that human nature. But I wonder what it must have been like for Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden with the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. They didn’t have a fallen, sinful nature. But they faced a very real and dangerous temptation.
I know for me that when I can’t have something, it seems that I want it all the more. I am working on my eating habits right now. I have been told to cut out salt, processed and fried food along with decreasing my intake of sugar. The problem: I like all these things. To be told that I can’t have them makes them all the more desirable.
If you have ever fasted, you know what I am talking about. When you can’t have food, you are all the more tempted by that food. When a child is told not to do something, it seems they become hell-bent on doing what they cannot do.
I call this forbidden fruit! We want the forbidden fruit. It seems that forbidden fruit seems so sweet.
When we look at the story of Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (TKGE), we can come away with three lessons applicable to our lives today.
They bought into the lie that God was holding back on them and that what they needed would be provided by eating the forbidden fruit.
You and I do the same thing today. We often times feel that God is withholding something from us. We feel as if we need something that God is not providing. Maybe it’s love from a partner, a sense of value or worth, or we don’t feel accepted. We end up going to other people and things instead of trusting God. We end up eating forbidden fruit.
It looks good and tasty. It looks like what we need and what we are looking for, but in the end, it never accomplishes what we thought it would. Just ask someone who has gotten hooked on drugs, or gave their body away because they simply wanted to be loved. Ask someone who has gone after forbidden fruit. Better yet, take a look at your own life and examine every time you ate forbidden fruit. What was the outcome?
They believed that there would be no consequences to their eating the forbidden fruit.
God told them that if they ever ate from the TKGE that they would die. The serpent deceived Eve into believing that God was simply threatening them with death, but they would not really die. She bought the lie and ate the fruit.
They ended up dying that day. Not physically, that would come many, many years later. But they died to themselves, they died to each other. In dying, they died. Adam was willing to throw all the blame on God and Eve. Eve rightfully pointed to the serpent, but she wasn’t willing to accept her own responsibility. The cost was way higher than Eve could have imagined.
There are always consequences to our choices. Some choices have great consequences. Others, not so great. The problem we run into is when we think that our choices don’t have consequences. We think that it will never happen to us, that we are above it somehow. We think that we can handle whatever may come.
But we can’t.
We still fall for that same lie: “you really won’t suffer if you make this choice.” God just wants you happy. How many times, when someone eats the forbidden fruit, they justify it by saying, “God knows my heart.” They don’t believe they will suffer consequences because, after all, God must know that they are good in heart.
Even though Jesus has forgiven us of our sins, our sin still has consequences. The wages of sin is still death. Most of the time we are punished by our sin, not for our sin. Eating forbidden fruit always has negative consequences. God can, and does, bring good out of our faulty mistakes, but our mistakes still carry consequences.
Eating the forbidden fruit caused Adam and Eve to experience shame.
Every time I have eaten forbidden fruit I have experienced shame. I hated myself for making such a stupid decision. I had to battle being ashamed of myself for messing up. Thankfully, Jesus is all about taking shame off of people, but our choices often times still bring us to a place of shame.
When we are ashamed we tend to avoid others, it causes us to hide from those closest to us and from God. That’s what Adam and Eve did. They covered themselves, in essence, hiding from one another, and they hid from God. We do the same whenever we deal with shame.
God had provided them with a garden that had everything they needed to sustain their lives. Every tree in the garden was good to look at and was good for food. God wanted to be their source of wisdom and knowledge.
Eve fell for the deception of the serpent. She thought God was being stingy, holding back from her something that she needed. She didn’t think that the consequences would be what God said they would be. In the end, she suffered greatly because she trusted more in the serpent and in her own decision making than she did in the wisdom and love of God.
When we eat from forbidden fruit the same happens to us. We tend to think that God is holding back from us the things we think we need. So, we go looking for them in all the wrong places. We don’t believe that there will be negative consequences to our actions. In the end, when we eat from forbidden fruit, we end suffering and, most of the time will cause others around us to suffer as well.
Don’t fall for the lie! God has all that you need and will be all that you need. He is not stingy or holding back. He loves you more than you know and is generous and gracious to humanity.
What about you? Have you ever thought you needed something that God wasn’t supplying? Did you eat forbidden fruit? What was your experience like?
Today will lead you into tomorrow but tomorrow will always lead you into today.
The meaning of the above statement is that tomorrow never comes. When you go to sleep at night thinking “I will do thus tomorrow” you wake up and it’s today. So tomorrow never really comes. It is always now. It is always today.
The promise of tomorrow is a curse! I don’t mean a curse in a really evil, demonic, evil-eye, a hex on you kind of curse. I am talking about the curse of procrastination.
I tend to procrastinate. I have the best of intentions and plans. I have my goals and plans written down. However, there are times when I know I need to do something today and I tell myself I will do it tomorrow. And then tomorrow becomes today and I use the same excuse again….tomorrow.
Procrastination is the enemy of getting things done. Take this blog for example. It’s my goal to write a post every week. I have even been so bold to plan to write 500 words a day. Putting 500 words on a page is not that difficult. The editing is the consuming part but writing is easy, providing I don’t put it off. Which I tend to do because something else grabs my attention. Or, worse, I just get plain ‘ole lazy.
How does one overcome the curse of tomorrow? One must learn to live in the now. Now is all that you have. This very moment is all I really have. I am not promised tomorrow. I am not promised a long life. I am not promised anything. All I have is the right now.
I wish I could go back in time and recapture certain moments that are precious to me. I also wish I could go back and do redo some things I would like to change. Mostly I wish I could recapture all the moments I wasted thinking that I would get it done tomorrow. Well, here it is . . . my tomorrow but it’s Today and I can’t go back.
Enjoy the moment right now. Embrace the time that you have. Don’t allow the curse of tomorrow to affect your today. Today is God’s gift to you; what you do with it is your gift to Him.
Recently a friend of mine and his wife welcomed their new daughter into the world. She is a beautiful creation of God with her whole life in front of her. Everyone’s dreams and well wishes for her future are grand and many. As I walked out of the hospital from my visit my thoughts turned to my mother who has stage 4 COPD and is dying. 
What a contrast . . . a life beginning and a life ending. One has so many today’s ahead of her and the other is counting down her days. That is my point. Each of them only has today. While the new baby can’t really appreciate life, at this moment, as you and I do, my mom understands that value and importance of today. Each day for her is truly a gift.
Do not waste today. Most of us do waste a lot of time. I know I still do. It’s something I am working to overcome. Today counts, today matters, today is all you have. Enjoy the moment!
Today will lead you into tomorrow but tomorrow will always lead you into today.
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What about you? What is your biggest time waster? What do you put off until tomorrow?
I am my own worst enemy! I can defeat myself faster than a speeding bullet. I can tear myself down quicker than a wrecking ball. I can condemn myself better than anyone. Yes, I am my own worst enemy.
But I can also be my greatest ally. It is all in the way that I think.
Years ago, I went through a discipleship session called Christ Life. It is now The Ultimate Journey. Through that intensive course, I learned that my brain will only believe what I tell it. I know that sounds strange so let me explain.
If 50 people told me I was smart, handsome and a great friend I may or may not believe them. The deciding factor is if I see myself that way. If my wife tells me I am handsome but I see myself as ugly, who do you think I am going to believe? I will always believe myself . . . and you will too.
Hence, your brain only believes what you tell it. Unfortunately, most of us walk around believing lies about ourselves. When you believe a lie, you empower that lie. You give it room to grow.
As I reflected on the last couple years of my life I realized that I was simply drifting through life. I wasn’t living the life I wanted to live mainly because of the way I was thinking about things. I have been allowing the circumstances of my past, and the hurt caused me by others, to determine how I was living.
I was empowering lies about myself that were limiting my quality of life. I have certainly been living lower that God intended for me to live. Jesus said that He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. I have been living below, in what I would call, the spiritual poverty line.
And it has all been because of my limiting beliefs, or what I have been telling myself.
I decided that 2016 was going to be different. I decided that 2016 has to be different. However, New Years Day is not a magical day. Just because you buy a new calendar and proclaim it’s a new year doesn’t mean that changes will come.
2016 will be not different than 2015 unless I make it different. I know that there will be traumas, tragedies, hurt, hard times and temptations that will come my way. But, it’s my beliefs and thoughts that will either sink me or allow me to soar. I decided I want to stop drifting and start designing my life my life again.
To do that, I had to start facing the limiting beliefs. I had to ask myself what was really holding me back. It all boiled down to the way I was looking at things, my circumstances and where I am at in life. It came down to what I was believing.
What I believe will either hold me back or cause me to soar. You see, for every limiting belief I have there is a liberating truth. Jesus said that He is the truth and His teaching is the truth. He said that you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. I believe that Jesus has something to say about every one of my limiting beliefs.
What He has to say is the truth . . . and I want to live in truth.
So I am dealing with my limiting beliefs this year. That’s not to say that they are magically gone. They are not. I have to reprogram my thinking. The Bible calls this renewing the mind. I have my limiting beliefs wrote out along with my set of liberating truths.
I have been my own worst enemy but that is about to change. 2016 shall see me as my best ally!
What about you? Are you allowing certain beliefs to hold you back?
I’ve had to forgive so many people lately that I finally thought, maybe I need to write a blog post and call it If You Forgive, You Win.
Several times recently, people have treated me disrespectfully. You know what I mean – they looked at me or talked to me like I was stupid, like I didn’t quite measure up and definitely like I wasn’t as good as them.
Then, just yesterday we received fraud text alerts from our credit card company and once again someone out there decided it was ok to use our credit card info to purchase their stuff.
You’ve probably been through it as well. Shred the old credit card, get a new credit card, then spend hours updating all the companies with your new credit card information. My husband Steve is in the other room doing this very thing as I type. It’s a hassle for sure.
In each of these situations the devil tried to talk me into not forgiving the offender and each time I knew I had a choice to make.
The purpose of this post is not to put the focus on look what happened to me, but to put the focus on the solution because we all have plenty of opportunities every day to be offended and become bitter and resentful. None of us are exempt.
When the first situation happened, as I walked away from the person, I knew I had a choice to make. I could stand there and rehash the way they just treated me or I could ask God for His help. I simply prayed to myself, God, I know I need to forgive this person. Can you please help me?
The very next thing I purposely started thinking about was how I have talked to way too many people disrespectfully over the years as well, including my own kids and my husband. So instead of having me focus on what the other person did to me, God helped me set my mind on the fact that He has forgiven me of the very same offense so many times. This helped me tremendously in the first two situations because it immediately softened my heart toward the offenders.
The Apostle Paul reminds us of this truth in Colossians 3:12-14:
12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. (MSG)
So lets analyze this scripture, if you will, and see if we can find out what right beliefs make us willing and able to forgive others. After all, right believing leads to right living and wrong believing leads to wrong living.
The very first truth that jumped out at me is that we have been chosen by God for this new life of love. You may not always feel like loving those who have hurt you, but although feelings are very real, following them is not what will set you free. It’s the truth that sets you free.
So here’s the truth about you:
But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for He called you out of the darkness into His wonderful light. -1 Peter 2:9 (NLT)
Something just happens to us when we know we are chosen, special, set apart.
Let’s take the example of USA women’s gymnastics. Several years ago we purchased tickets to attend the USA Gymnastics Visa National Championships. We weren’t able to attend all the sessions (we gave some of our tickets away), but we did get to go to several, including the final day of competition. It was incredible to experience it live. Wow! Witnessing firsthand what those women were able to do is beyond words!
At the end, the decision was made as to whom would be going on to London as part of the USA Women’s Olympic Gymnastics Team. I don’t think there was a dry eye in that place when the girls who made it were announced. They had been picked, chosen, set apart for a special purpose.
Once they knew they had been chosen they were willing to endure several more months of, probably the most intense training they had ever been through so they could then represent the USA at the 2012 Olympics. And represent they did. Wow, what a year that was! Gabrielle Douglas won the all-around individual gold and Team USA won the gold medal for the team competition.
As much as I love to watch USA women’s gymnastics (already looking forward to Rio), I want to encourage you that, as a Believer, you have been chosen for even a much higher purpose – an eternal purpose.
You are a world changer, my friend, but you have to believe it. When you do, you will be willing to do what it takes, by God’s grace, to dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, and discipline.
Now, let’s keep analyzing that awesome scripture from Colossians.
Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.
Do you know that, as a Believer in Jesus, you have been completely forgiven of ALL of your sins – past, present and future sins? If this is new news to you, I encourage you to read Hebrews 10:1-22.
Pay specific attention to verses 10, 12 and 14. Verse 10 says once for all time, verse 12 says good for all time and verse 14 says forever. Then verse 18 says this: And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices.
and here’s more good news…
Hebrews 9:24-26,
24 For Christ did not enter into a holy place made with human hands, which was only a copy of the true one in heaven. He entered into heaven itself to appear now before God on our behalf. 25 And He did not enter heaven to offer Himself again and again, like the high priest here on earth who enters the Most Holy Place year after year with the blood of an animal. 26 If that had been necessary, Christ would have had to die again and again, ever since the world began. But now, once for all time, He has appeared at the end of the age to remove sin by His own death as a sacrifice. (NLT)
and even more good news…
Ephesians 1:7 says,
In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace. (NASB)
Notice that this last verse does not say our trespasses are forgiven according to how perfectly we behave. It says we’re forgiven according to the riches of His grace!
If this concept of total and complete forgiveness is new to you and you are like, Whoa, I don’t know about this Sandra. I want to believe it, but I’ve never heard anything like this before, I understand because I went through this same process when I first heard this phenomenal news.
If this is where you’re at right now, I encourage you to do one of two things: either get my book, I Tried Until I Almost Died, in which I explain our complete forgiveness in Christ in great detail and back it up with lots of scriptures or go to the right side of the homepage of this website and type forgiveness into the search bar. A number of posts will come up including one titled Our Forgiveness Secured.
One way or the other I encourage you to load yourself with truth about your complete forgiveness in Christ as a result of Jesus’ finished work on the cross. It’s critical to your Christian walk that you understand this Biblical truth.
Let’s just proceed on though, assuming all of us Believers have a revelation of our complete forgiveness in Christ. First, think about what happens to a person when they have guilt on their conscience. They react out of that guilt because they feel condemned for their sin. Well, it’s difficult to react to sin that has been removed from your conscience because of the precious blood of Jesus; therefore, you can go through life being assured of your forgiveness and that gives you both peace and confidence.
From my own personal experience, having a revelation of my complete forgiveness in Christ has made me SO much more secure. Referring back to the verse we are examining through further study, living with this peace and confidence has made all the difference for me in being able to be even-tempered, being content with second place and being able to be quick to forgive (as the Apostle Paul recommended in that verse).
Do you see how having the right belief that we are forever forgiven affects our behavior?
When you truly understand that you’ve been forgiven of all your sins – past, present and future sins – believe me, you will have a desire to forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you because of the change that receiving His gift of grace has made in your heart.
In all three cases this past week where I was mistreated, as a result of knowing I’m completely forgiven and having that peace and assurance in my own life, I didn’t struggle when I needed to make the choice to stop focusing on what the other person had just done to me. I was able, with God’s help and by His grace, to forgive as I have been forgiven and quickly move past each situation. In fact, I prayed for each person after each incident.
I felt like the Holy Spirit showed me that the first person reacted out of fear that they were inadequate and the second reacted out of their own emotional pain (from being hurt by others). I didn’t have a face-to-face discussion with the credit card thieves, but still prayed for them, that the deception they were living under would fall from their eyes, that they would have an encounter with Jesus and that they and all their family members would get saved. They didn’t know who they were messing with when they messed with Sandra McCollom. I love to pray! God is sending laborers across their path who will tell them the good news as sure as I’m sitting here typing this. Ha – take that credit card thieves. See you in Heaven!
See there, it’s true – If You Forgive, You Win!
Just imagine what would happen if Christians worldwide began to bless their enemies and pray for those who hurt them. Just imagine the love (and love = power) that would be released in the earth. Just imagine how many more people would be won over to the kingdom of God if we receive God’s grace to live like this.
It is only by His grace that this transition is possible. He is the only one who can help us see that this whole deal is not about what everybody is doing to us and instead help us to focus on the other person/people involved and on how they are reacting out of their own hurt, confusion, anxiety, frustration, etc.
Here’s the last part of that verse in Colossians:
And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
One last thought before we discuss forgiving ourselves. My husband and I read a really good parenting book recently called Loving Our Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk. It’s a great book for parents and other leaders as well. You can refer to my Facebook or Instagram page if you want to read the full post about the book, but there was one line part way through the book that just blew me away and has been helping me ever since.
This is not a direct quote because I want to rephrase it to fit this post, but here’s the gist of it : We are making a big mistake when we make other people’s problems our own problems. This hit me like a ton of bricks and I feel like this is very appropriate for this post.
It was important in my being able to handle the offenses I discussed above correctly that I was able to say to myself, This person has a problem, but I don’t need to make their problem my problem. I believe that is what we do when we give into bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. We essentially take on the other person’s problem ourselves.
On the other hand, when we can identify the owner of the problem (and sometimes that is us), we are then able to stay calm and be empathetic toward the other person by truly feeling sorry that they are allowing this problem to affect their life.
This concept just gives us a whole new attitude toward the various situations we face. When we stop letting other people’s problems control us, we’ve just taken a huge step toward freedom.
I didn’t know this was going to be part of my post until yesterday morning when I spent almost an hour crying after being pulled over by a police officer for going 45mph in a 35mph zone. I really don’t get mad at myself very often at all anymore, but I sure was mad at myself and disappointed in myself yesterday morning.
I think I must have also been having a blood sugar crash as well because I could not stop crying for the longest time. I was a mess.
Finally, I calmed down enough to pray and I said this, God, I don’t feel like forgiving myself. I am so stinkin’ mad at myself. But I know I need to… so I choose to forgive myself right now, in Jesus’ name, Amen. I just had to refuse to go with my feelings – because remember that it’s not feelings that set us free – and choose to let the mistake go.
It wasn’t like I was speeding on purpose and I even found out later that in this particularly small community where people turn off the highway and then the speed limit drops to 35 mph, officers give out lots of tickets.
I know why I was so mad. It was because I had been pulled over for speeding about 6 months ago and I am not normally a speeder. In fact, I feel I’m a careful and conscientious driver, but I was talking with my girls on the way to their classes and we were just having a great time. I simply was not paying close enough attention and I do obviously need to be more aware of the speed limit signs.
I have an idea though – I can use cruise control from now on to make sure I don’t go over 35mph on that road.
On top of getting a speeding ticket I got an additional ticket. I could not find our new insurance card in our vehicle. We recently paid our insurance so we were definitely covered. I just didn’t have the card. I called my husband with the officer standing right there and asked him if he put the card in the glove compartment after paying for it. He had forgotten to put the insurance card in there.
Right then and there I had another choice to make. Was I going to blame my husband and talk to him disrespectfully on the phone right in front of the officer or was I going to remember that I have done that very same thing on several occasions after paying for the insurance myself. I have also forgotten to put the cards in the vehicles.
I’m glad to say I chose to treat Steve with love, but there were so many years that I treated Steve with disrespect, treating him as if he was stupid, as if he didn’t quite measure up and as if I was better than him. I didn’t do this all the time, but far too often for as long as I had been a Christian. The problem was, although I was a Christian, my mind was filled with wrong believing; therefore, I had lots of wrong behavior.
This is exactly why I remain in awe of God’s great grace toward me and the way He has changed me over the past 4 years. I mean, I just cannot get over it. He is so good to have saved me from my pharisaical self. I’m far from perfect, but the point is, I keep receiving His grace whether I’m having a good day or a bad day and it’s His grace that keeps changing me from the inside out.
I was telling my husband last night in front of my girls the story about me crying when the police officer handed me the ticket and how the back seat went dead silent. That doesn’t happen very often folks because my twin girls love to talk. I asked the girls what they were thinking and Starr responded, I was thinking that this is the most embarrassing day of my life because I’m sitting in the back seat with my pajamas and housecoat on and wondering what in the world that Police officer must be thinking.
I started laughing hysterically. I totally forgot that it was ‘pajama day’ at their Homelink classes. I didn’t think to say anything to the officer. He must have been wondering what in the world we were doing – hahahaha!
See there, I forgave myself and ended up having a really good laugh.
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most - Hebrews 4:16 (NLT)
I encourage you to walk in forgiveness with others and yourself because there is no doubt about it – If you forgive, you win. Sometimes it may not look like you’re winning and you may be tempted to take matters into your own hands and try to control the situation and all the other people involved, but take it from me, leaving it in God’s hands and trusting Him is the most effective way to live!
If you have not yet made Jesus your Savior and received the wonderful joy that His finished work on the cross has provided for you to live in, please visit my page here titled Jesus In The Driver’s Seat. On this page I explain the good news of the gospel and you will have the opportunity to pray a prayer of salvation, making Jesus your Savior! Jesus loves you and His arms are wide open!
Sandra McCollom