As a Christian I am a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17). The old Michael was crucified with Christ and I have been born from above, born again into God’s family. I am a son of God, as righteous as Jesus because of what Jesus did on behalf of humanity. It’s nothing of my own doing; just simple faith in the work that Jesus did for me. I don’t claim to understand how God does it but I know that It’s true.

However, I don’t always live, act or feel like a son of God. I don’t always behave and live out of my identity as a child of God. When I was a teenager I believed that God was mad at me every time I sinned. If he wasn’t mad, then he was surely disappointed because I had failed to live up to his standards, or what I had been taught about his supposed standards. 

During that time in my life, I got “saved” every Sunday because I couldn’t seem to get my act together. I so wanted to please God but felt I always came up short. I just knew that he was incredibly disappointed that I couldn’t get it together. I made so many promises to God that I would do better, not mess up as much and get it right.

I carried these thoughts and feelings into my adulthood.

When I would mess up, I would always beat myself up for three or four days, promising God I would do better, and that I would try harder not to mess up again. I was always on the performance treadmill. 

When I became a parent at the age of 28 a change began to take place in me. Becoming a parent taught me about the fathering heart of God more than anything else. The love and care I had for my child was deep and moving. The things I felt for her were without words. I would give my life for this beautiful creature. Nothing she did, or didn’t do, would change how I felt about her. She is now 23 and married and I still feel the same way. 

As much as I love all five of my children, my love for them doesn’t even compare to God’s love for us.

Most of us have been taught that God punishes us when we sin. I used to believe that the bad things that happened to me were coming from God’s punishment of me. I just couldn’t believe that God was ever proud of me because all I could ever see were the wrong things I was doing. For a long time, I believed he loved me (he had to love me because God is love) but I sure didn’t believe that he liked me.

But here is a question that I finally had to answer: If God is punishing me for my sins, then why did Jesus have to take my place?

The problem was that I didn’t have the right identity. I still saw myself as a sinner that had been saved by grace, but I was simply on parole. I didn’t see myself as being totally set free from my sins. Grace was not the emphasis, and neither was the word saved. It was the word sinner.

I. Was. A. Sinner. 

I was taught that God hates sinners therefore God hated me because I couldn’t quit sinning. That was my thought process.

Boy was I ever wrong! I didn’t have a sin problem (Jesus took care of sin). I had an identity problem.

You see, my identity is that of a son. I now carried God’s name. Because of what Jesus did I, too, was now a son of God. No longer a sinner, but now a son. I am not a sinner saved by grace. I am a son of God that is dearly loved by God.

That means that every time I mess up, God says to me, “Son, that’s not who you are.” I always felt like a failure and saw myself as such, but God saw me as a son. He always speaks to what he sees in us. He always speaks to the Israel inside of us, and not the Jacob. He will deal with the Jacob, but speaks to the Israel within.

If our children talked to us like we talk to God, we would be beside ourselves. We would never let our children tell us how unworthy of our love they are, how much of a rotten person they are, how bad of a sinner they are. No! We would set them straight. Yet, Christians talk about themselves like this all the time.

If any of my kids ever came to me and talked like that I would speak to their true identity. They are mine. They are a gift from God. They are a Wilson and Wilson’s don’t talk like that. That’s not who you are. I would then tell her who they are. I would speak to their potential. I would speak to their giftings. I would speak about my great love for them. I would help them to see their true identity.

No matter what they do, or don’t do, they are and always will be my child. My love isn’t based upon their actions. If it is then it’s not love. Conditional love is an oxymoron.
I would help them to see that they are becoming who they really are. 

That’s precisely what God, our Heavenly Father, does. He speaks into our truest identity, and that identity comes from him. So, when I listen to what he is saying to me, and I believe it, I then start to become what I am.

I am a son of God! And when I don’t act like it, he gently reminds me of who I am.

I am becoming what I am!