In the modern church we think we treat women well. We tell ourselves that we are enlightened, educated and respectful. But in the very next breath we tell women they can’t preach or teach and it would best if they remain silent in our services.

What’s wrong with that picture?!

God made Eve a queen, yet we don’t treat her daughters like princesses. Just look at the shame we dispense to those who are divorced.

A pastor who goes to prison for manslaughter can be rehabilitated and welcomed back into the pulpit, but a woman who has been abused and divorced has zero chance of leading a church.

“Hold up there, Paul. You’re confusing several issues. There are scriptures forbidding…”

Actually, there are no scriptures forbidding divorced women from doing anything. But there is certainly an ancient prejudice against the daughters of Eve. (I discuss those scriptures you’re thinking of elsewhere.)

For now let’s focus on one question: Why does Jesus hate divorce?

Jesus doesn’t hate divorce because it’s a sin or because it breaks God’s rules. He hates it because it hurts the people he loves.

And in the first century, most of the people hurt by divorce were women.

Divorce in the bad old days

In the patriarchal culture of ancient Israel, there was a law that said a man could send his wife away with a certificate of divorce if she no longer found favor in his eyes.

Yes, that’s actually in the Bible (see Deu. 24:1-4).

Under the law of Moses, if your wife got old and wrinkled, you could trade her in for a younger model. It was allowed because, you know… wrinkles.

By the time of Jesus, the rabbis and sages had added a raft of other reasons for divorcing your wife.

You could divorce her if she spoke with a loud voice, fed you untithed meat, or talked to men in public.

If she didn’t produce children within ten years, you could divorce her for breaking the commandment to be fruitful and multiply.

If she went to a friend’s feast when you had told her not to, you could divorce her for that too.

These divorce laws were unfair to women and Jesus hated them.

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:8-9)

In other words, stop kidding yourself. If your partner is faithful and you trade her in for a younger model, you’re the unfaithful one.

Just because it’s lawful and everyone’s doing it, that doesn’t mean God is happy about it.

Yet the situation was even worse because some men were sending away their wives without giving them a certificate of divorce. Maybe they were trying to hold onto dowries or perhaps they were just lazy. In any case, it was an evil practice, for it meant women were being sent out into the cold without any means of support.

Those same men would then carry on like they were single and remarry. It was a national disgrace and Jesus called them out on it.

Whosoever sends away his wife (without a certificate of divorce) and marries another, commits adultery. (Luke 16:18)

Jesus defended women by calling their deadbeat husbands sinners and law-breakers. “You’re breaking the seventh commandment.”

When Jesus laid down the law

Why did Jesus hit these sinners with the law when he gave grace to so many others? Because they were hurting people weaker than themselves and they were doing so under guise of God-fearing religion. They were acting like law-keepers when they were really law-breakers.

This is vintage Jesus. He is not fooled by the silly traditions men invent to cover their poor behavior. He sees through all hypocrisy and cuts right to the heart of the issue.

“You think you are clever with your legal loopholes, but you are going against God’s plan. You are mistreating women.”

I imagine Jesus would say similar things today regarding our habit of discriminating against women in ministry. And he would certainly have something to say about the unkind way we treat women (and men) who are divorced.

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More articles about marriage and divorce.

More articles about women in ministry.

News: In two weeks I will be releasing my new ebook on original sin. Announcement coming on August 2, 2022.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said this about divorce and remarriage: It has been said, “Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.” But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32) The words of Jesus are meant to impart life, but a misreading of this passage can bring condemnation and despair. Women have even been beaten and killed on account of this passage. They’ve been told, “You cannot leave your violent and abusive husband unless he’s been unfaithful.” If your spouse is intimate with another person, you can walk away. But if they beat you, you have to stay there and take it. Really? Was Jesus saying that infidelity is the only legitimate grounds for divorce? Was he deaf to the cries of those suffering domestic violence? Something doesn’t add up. Jesus came to defend women against all forms of violence and abuse. In the first century, Jewish women were suffered abuse in the form of quickie divorces and abandonment. This is the issue Jesus was addressing in the Sermon on [...]